Symptoms
by happycardigans
Summary: Amelia almost didn't believe what she was hearing. She didn't know why, but she had expected Arizona to walk away, tell her to find someone else. But instead she was here, unbelievably soft, warm hands fitting perfectly in her own. Telling her she wanted to be with her. Arizona Robbins wanted to be with Amelia Shepherd. AU post-Season 11
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

It had been a long night at Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. At 9:06 P.M. ambulances had begun rolling in, filled with victims of a fifteen car pile-up in the heart of Seattle. Of the twenty two victims, only eight survived.

Amelia Shepherd tore her mask off as she stormed out of the OR. Her fifteen year old patient hadn't made it. Time of death: 1:56 A.M.

She scrubbed out, eyes bloodshot, ignoring the sorrowful glances of the nurses and anesthesiologist as they walked by. Someone held the door open for her; she grunted a thank you without looking to see who was there.

The panicked bustle of the ER had dissipated; the patients from the wreck were either stable and admitted to a room, or dead. A few beds had unrelated patients in them, with nurses taking vitals and noting symptoms. Dr. Kepner sat behind the nurses' station with two residents, looking exhausted. Amelia nodded to her as she entered, walking up to the station to check if she needed to see anyone.

"You can go home, Amy. I think we have it covered," April sighed, not bothering to look up at her.

Amelia shook her head, "I'm on call until 8. I'll be in my office."

She didn't stay to see if April said anything else, turning on her heel and briskly making her way to the elevators. Most of the other doctors would sleep when they were on call late, but Amy couldn't. Not today. She could never sleep after a particularly bad surgery; she felt like she should have been able to save that kid. He would plague her dreams if she closed her eyes now.

The elevator dinged; she didn't even remember getting in when the doors opened on the floor of her office. She walked out, counting the steps into the neuro office. She paced, rubbing her eyes. After a few moments she stopped, turning to her board. She hung up the boy's scans and stared at them, studying again the brain that she had just cut in to.

At 3 o'clock, Amelia left her office in search of cleaning supplies. She needed something to do with her hands.

She pushed open the door to the supply closet, reviewing the boy's scans in her head. She recounted the steps she took, from the first cut she made. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear the suppressed sound of sobbing until she already had two bottles of cleaner and a stack of rags in her hands.

Poking her head around the shelves, her eyes widened.

"Arizona?" She said softly. The woman was leaned against the wall, face in her hands. At the sound of Amelia's voice, she jumped. Trying in vain to wipe the evidence from her face, she looked at Amelia's feet.

"Hey, Shepherd." She said weakly. Amy took a step towards her.

"Mind if I sit?" she asked, setting her loot on the nearest shelf.

"Um, I was just about to leave, but…"

"Sure you were," she jabbed playfully. Arizona's smile didn't go any further than her lips, but she scooted over to make room for Amy still.

"I'm sure this looks positively pathetic," Arizona laughed sardonically.

Amelia shook her head, "I've been there. Absolutely no judgement here." Only then did Amy notice the half-empty bottle of wine sitting next to Arizona, accompanied by an occasional hiccup from the blonde. Amy smiled sadly, understanding. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't know," Arizona breathed, leaning her head back and looking at the ceiling. She blinked back fresh tears. "I feel pathetic. I should be beyond this by now, you know?" Amy nodded, encouraging her to go on. "Like, these things just keep building up and they're crushing me. I don't know where to go."

Amelia nodded slowly, looking at the other woman out of the corner of her eye. She began slowly "I know that we haven't really been _close_ in the past, but if you need to, um, unload some of those things, I'm here to listen."

Arizona looked at her, giving her a sad, tearful smile. "I'm sorry, Amy. I'm sorry that life just sucks sometimes."

For some reason, hearing it said like _that,_ that things "just suck sometimes," took a weight off of Amy's chest. She looked hard at Arizona, knitting her eyebrows together as she thought. "Come on, Robbins," she said decidedly, standing and holding a hand out to her newfound comrade, "let me give you a ride home."

Arizona hesitated before taking the offered hand and allowing herself to be pulled up. She stuffed her half-bottle of wine in her purse as she followed Dr. Shepherd out of the supply closet and towards the staff exit.

Amelia checked to make sure her pager was on loud as they got in the car. Sitting in the driver's seat, she watched with mild amusement as Arizona drunkenly plopped down beside her, wavering for a moment before securing her seat belt. "You doin' okay over there, soldier?" Amy joked. Arizona giggled and nodded, giving her a thumbs up.

"Thanks for this, Shepherd," she said, her voice more sober than her body.

"Of course. I know you'd do the same."

They sat in silence as Amy pulled out of the parking lot, Arizona staring out the passenger window.

Amelia broke the silence to ask where Arizona lived.

"In Meredith's house. Old house, I mean. It was Karev's, but…"

"I know," Amy said as Arizona's voice trailed off, "I know where that is. Are you staying with Mer then?"

Arizona shook her head before she remembered that Amy wasn't looking at her. "No. I'm just staying until I can figure something else out. I just haven't really had the time to go apartment shopping."

"Yeah, Meredith offered to let me stay there too. I dunno, it just feels weird, living with her without…"

Arizona nodded, this time catching Amy's eye. She understood.

"Yeah, ever since the divorce, I just…" Arizona sighed, "I don't know how to get my feet on solid ground, you know?"

Amy nodded, glancing at Arizona's profile briefly; her eyes were glistening with tears. "Is that what you've been upset about?"

"Partially," Arizona admitted with a shrug, "it's been hard I guess. For the first few months I just didn't let myself slow down to think about it. I mean, I couldn't, with my fellowship and everything. But now it just feels like it's weighing down so hard on me. And Sofia is asking questions that I don't know how to answer. And now Herman is blind and – don't get me wrong, I appreciate what you did so much, more than you could ever imagine – but I feel like I've lost this incredible mentor, even if she made me feel like crap. And now Karev and Jo have their own place and as pathetic as it sounds, I just feel like I'm being left behind."

Amelia swallowed, letting Arizona's words sink in. Words that she could identify with _so much._

"I feel left behind," Arizona repeated, though this time for herself – a revelation.

"I get that," Amy said as she pulled in to the driveway. "I feel the same way, with Meredith selling the house and everything."

"Like everyone is making choices for you."

"Exactly. Like I have no say in my life," Amy confirmed.

The two women succumbed to a comfortable, yet meaningful silence yet again.

This time Arizona broke it. "God, we're too old for this."

Amelia laughed, a melodic sound that brought a smile to Arizona's face. "Aren't we though?" Amy said.

Arizona sighed, reaching for the door handle, "Well, thank you so much for this Dr. Shepherd." She smiled at the other woman as she pushed the door open and stepped out, only slightly stumbling before getting her bearings.

"It was my pleasure, Dr. Robbins," Amy smirked, giving the woman an exaggerated salute. Arizona laughed as she shut the door and walked away from the car. Amy watched as the surgeon fumbled with the lock on the front door, laughing to herself until Arizona came out victorious. The woman stumbled into the house, closing the door behind her.

Amelia watched where Arizona's figure had just been for a moment before putting her car in reverse and heading back to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

**Welcome back! Thank you all for humoring me through Chapter 1 of this story and clicking on. I really hope y'all like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I am but a humble servant to the genius of Shonda and ABC.**

 _Chapter 2_

"Dr. Shepherd," she heard a familiar voice call from behind her. She slowed down to allow Owen to catch up with her.

"Make it quick, Hunt, I'm on my way to surgery," she said, more snippily than she intended. She wasn't interested in social calls today.

He cleared his throat awkwardly before beginning, "Well, I was talking to a couple members of the board and we discussed that you haven't taken any personal time since, ah, since…"

"Since my brother died?" She finished for him testily.

"Well yes. Since Derek died. And we just thought that maybe you should take this next week off, for your own sake."

Amelia stopped dead in her tracks, turning to face Hunt.

"Let me get this straight. The board thinks I need to take a week off for _my health_?"

Owen nodded, refusing to make proper eye contact.

"Have I done something wrong? Did someone complain about my work?" She pressed, her voice rising slowly, angrily.

"No!" Owen exclaimed, bringing his hands up as if in defense, "Absolutely not. You have been doing outstanding work, as usual. We just thought –"

"I have _patients,_ Dr. Hunt, who are depending on my being present next week. I have surgeries, and follow ups, and –"

"And all of those things can be rescheduled _or_ picked up by another surgeon," He finished, looking at her pointedly.

"They are expecting _me_ to be there, Owen," she snapped.

"Amelia, this is not up for discussion," he sighed, "you need to look at this as a gift, not a punishment. We're trying to look out for you, here."

Amelia scoffed, turning and storming away. "Fine, whatever the _board_ wants," she called over her shoulder.

Owen sighed, watching her until she disappeared around a corner. That hadn't gone as he had hoped.

There was a reason that Amy didn't like to take time off; she didn't like to be bored. And by the second day of her forced vacation, she was unspeakably bored. Day One had involved deep cleaning her apartment and detailing her car, and then watching one mind-numbing episode of _The Real Housewives_ before surrendering herself to online case studies and reading everything there was to know (for the public) about Derek's brain mapping project.

So, without anything to clean or read, Amelia found herself in Meredith's driveway at 10 A.M. deciding whether or not to knock.

After a moment, she just turned the doorknob and, surprisingly, it opened. She stepped in, immediately hearing the familiar sounds of _Dora the Explorer_ playing from somewhere in the house.

"Zola-a-a!" She called in a sing-songy voice. She didn't know if she'd expected Meredith to be home or not, but hopefully she could convince her to hand over her children for the day. She walked towards the kitchen, acting playfully sneaky when she heard the sound of plates clacking together and chairs scooting.

"Gooooood morning Shep- oh!" Amelia nearly jumped at the sight of Arizona setting plates down in front of her daughter, Zola, and Bailey. "Hey, sorry, I thought maybe it was Mer home today." Amy grinned sheepishly.

"Not a problem!" Arizona chirped, "You're just in time for breakfast." She went to the cabinet and pulled out another plate and silverware for Amy, setting a place for her right beside Zola.

Amelia beamed at the woman, happy to be welcome somewhere with homemade food.

After inhaling two blueberry pancakes, Zola exclaimed, "We're going to the zoo today, auntie!"

Amy gasped exaggeratedly, "You are? No way!"

Arizona smiled at her, "You're welcome to join us if you aren't busy."

All three of the children cheered, looking at the brunette expectantly. She laughed and nodded, "I'd love to actually."

"Perfect!" Arizona chirped, "You can push Ell's stroller." She winked at the other woman, who made a show of rolling her eyes.

"I should have known you were using me."

Arizona laughed as she stood up, clearing plates off of the table and stacking them in the sink. She excused herself to go wake Ellis from her midmorning nap, and Amy finished getting the children ready for their day at the zoo.

"Please tell me this mom-monstrosity is not yours?" Amy pleaded as they loaded the kids into a gray boat of a minivan. Arizona laughed again, drawing a smile to Amy's lips.

"It's not, I promise. This is actually Meredith's. She bought it last month."

"Thank God," Amy said with a wink, hopping into the passenger's seat.

Arizona checked to make sure everyone was buckled and pulled out of the driveway, setting course for the Woodland Park Zoo. Amy shuffled through the CD's in the car, settling on a Disney Classics mix. She saw a smirk cross Arizona's lips.

"Wh-what's that for?" She demanded defensively.

"Oh nothing," Arizona sing-songed. Then she giggled, "They've got you whipped."

Amelia huffed, indignant. But glancing in the rear view mirror, she watched as Sofia and Zola bounced around, singing their favorite Jungle Book tune, she smiled. They did have her whipped.

Both of the women made a show of dramatically singing every song that played for the entirety of the drive. The kids laughed and sang along, bouncing in their car seats. Amy glanced over at Arizona occasionally, smiling. She looked so happy today, nothing like the drunken Dr. Robbin's she'd peeled off the supply closet floor.

She couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed that night, though. Something about talking to Arizona made Amelia's head feel lighter.

Amy watched as Arizona read the placard in front of the jaguar enclosure to Bailey, Zola, and Sofia. The former Peds specialist gasped at all of the right times when telling them how fast jaguars could run, and how they hunted, smiling adoringly at all three children when they each pressed their faces against the glass to get a better look at the majestic beasts. Amelia caught herself smiling and looked away, resting her eyes on the wonder filled orbs of baby Ellis.

"Hey cutie," Amelia cooed, holding her finger out so her niece could latch on. The baby girl did, closing her tiny, cool fingers around her aunt's pinky. She started to pull the appendage towards her slobbery lips but Amy pulled away. "Hey now, we're not starting that yet." She fished out a pacifier and pushed it in the child's mouth, feigning a scowl.

"You being mean to the baby?"

Amelia laughed lightly, shaking her head, "I'm just trying to not be a chew toy."

Arizona smiled, taking hold of the stroller and beginning to push, with the other three in tow.

Looking down at Bailey, whose eyes were drooping as he occasionally stumbled, Amelia reached to pick him up. But she was a second too late – the little boy's foot caught a rock and he went careening towards the ground.

"Bailey!" Amelia cried, swooping him off the ground just as he started screaming. She held him against her shoulder, rocking and bouncing and patting his back. "You're okay, baby. Can you show me what hurts?"

He pointed at his knee, tears and snot flowing freely down his face. Arizona pulled the group over at a bench and rummaged in the storage pocket of the stroller until she came up with a first aid kit. Amy brought him over, setting him in her lap to allow Arizona to clean it.

"Don't worry buddy, you're auntie and I are _really_ good at this kind of stuff," she winked at him. He giggled lightly beneath his tears, bringing his thumb up to his mouth to suck on it.

In a couple of minutes, Bailey was cleaned, bandaged, and ready for action. Amelia secured him in the toddler compartment of the stroller, right below Ellis, and walked around to take the reins from Arizona.

"Let me give you a break," she said, smiling sweetly. Arizona started to protest, but thought better of it and stepped away. She took Zola and Sofia by the hand and nodded to her counterpart, who began pushing the stroller towards the next adventure.

By 3 o'clock, the kids were all ready for a nap, and so were their two chaperones. The entourage made their way back to Meredith's humongous mini-van. By the time they were all buckled in, all four children were asleep, and Amy was drifting.

Arizona eyed the other woman as she turned off the radio and put the car into gear. She smiled; Amelia was something else. Arizona never would have thought that Amelia Shepherd – the badass, hard-ass neuro surgeon – was so good with kids. From what Meredith had told her, Zola and Bailey had destroyed their aunt the first couple of times that she babysat them.

 _I guess we all learn,_ Arizona thought, _we're all still learning._

"Hey," Amelia called, voice soft and low.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for inviting me today. It really was a great time," the brunette smiled, opening her eyes to look at the other woman. She saw Arizona beam and nod quickly.

"It was my pleasure, Dr. Shepherd," she winked.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hello again! Thank you all for the feedback last chapter! I always love some comments, so keep 'em coming! Obviously this is a bit of a slow burn for our dear ladies, but I hope you like this chapter - it's a bit shorter, but heavy on the Amy and Arizona feels. :) Let me know what you think!**

 **FYI, I have no hard feelings against Callie. As far as this fic is concerned she is going to be kind of jealous and angsty, but that's just to play in to my plans down the road. This isn't supposed to be an accurate depiction of her character, though.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. Praise be to Shonda and ABC.**

 _Chapter 3_

The kids were asleep. Zola and Bailey in the extra bedroom, Ellis in Meredith's room, and Sofia in Arizona's room. Callie was supposed to come get her when she got off tonight, but she'd gone in to surgery late.

Arizona and Amelia rummaged through the kitchen, trying to find something to satiate a sweet tooth that they'd both developed. Arizona popped her head above the cupboards, looking at Amelia. "Why don't I just make cookies?" She suggested. Amelia grinned and nodded quickly. She looked down at the sink, seeing their dishes from breakfast.

"Want me to take care of these?" She asked.

"Oh, no, I'll get them later – " Arizona said quickly, but Amelia interrupted her.

"Nope, I got 'em. I owe you for feeding me all day anyways."

Arizona laughed and shrugged. "Suit yourself. Dish soap is beneath the sink."

Amy began loading the dishwasher, musing to herself. _I've done dishes like once in my life, and that was at Mer's old house. Gah I feel so domestic._ She glanced at Arizona, who was looking for a bag of flour in the pantry, and she smiled.

Amy heard a light popping noise following a short tear, and then, " _Oh my God."_

The brunette wheeled around to see Arizona's face – and hair, and clothes – covered in flour.

She couldn't help it – she started laughing. "How did you do that?" She asked as she brought a towel over to the blonde.

Arizona shook her head, "I don't even know. It's like there was an air bubble in there, but there couldn't have been."

Amy brought the towel gently to Arizona's face. The moment grew more intense as she gently wiped away the flour on the other woman's cheeks, her jaw, her forehead. Amelia's breath hitched as she looked into Arizona's crystal eyes. They froze for a moment.

"Do you need a change of clothes?" Amy asked quietly as the tension began to dissipate. Slowly, Arizona nodded and took a step back from her.

"I'll be right back," she promised, her voice soft and sweet. Amy watched her until she disappeared up the stairs.

She leaned back against the counter, releasing her first breath in what felt like hours. _What was that?_ She asked herself. _What did I want?_

It didn't take long for Arizona to reappear, hair in a ponytail, wearing a Marines t-shirt and running shorts. She smiled at Amelia as she walked up, taking the flour and dumping some into a mixing bowl. Amy turned around to clean the rest of the flour off of the counter before she returned to the dishes.

Arizona made her so nervous.

"These are the best cookies ever!" Amelia declared as she plopped down on to the couch and hit play on the remote. Arizona giggled, propping her prosthetic up on the ottoman and leaning back in to the couch.

"I'm glad you like them," she said sweetly. Amelia beamed, nodding vigorously as she collected another cookie.

They had started a movie while the cookies baked. Meredith's limited film collection had left them with the choice of children's movies, or romcoms predating Arizona's med school graduation. Hence, they settled upon 10 Things I Hate About You, the only one that Arizona hadn't watched in the past month.

"We've got to get this girl some better movie options," Amelia yawned. Arizona laughed.

"Not into it?" She asked, reaching for another cookie.

"It's not that. I've just seen this movie so many times that I'm not sure that _I_ didn't direct it," Amy quipped. Arizona nodded.

"Gave up the camera for neurosurgery?"

"It was time," Amy feigned solemnity. Arizona laughed. Amy looked at her. She felt her heart in her throat.

 _Cut it out, Shepherd. You're friends._

Amy was startled out of her thoughts by a knock on the door; whoever it was didn't wait for an answer.

"Hey, sorry it's so late," Callie said, walking in to the living room. Her eyes darted from her ex-wife to Amelia, visibly shocked, "Oh, um, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting…" Callie was confused.

Arizona, however, wasn't phased. "Not at all! I'll go get Sof. Do you want a cookie?"

Callie shook her head, her eyes not leaving Amelia as Arizona bounded up the stairs.

"How's it going, Torres?" Amy asked, acutely aware of Callie's piercing gaze.

"Decent. Had a late surgery," her eyes continued to narrow.

Amy rolled her own, "I went to the zoo with them today," she explained, "I actually didn't realize it was so late, but Arizona and I were just talking."

Callie nodded slowly. This was weird. Amy prayed for Arizona to hurry.

Luckily her prayers were answered; Arizona came sneaking down the stairs, a sleeping Sofia in her arms.

"She's out cold," Arizona said quietly. "We had a big day."

"So I heard," Callie answered, nodding towards Amy. "See you tomorrow." She took her daughter from her ex-wife, not even looking at Amy as she left.

"Are things still weird with her?" Amy asked once Arizona had gotten settled.

"What, with Callie?" Arizona asked. The brunette nodded. "Somewhat. I mean, I think things are always a little weird between divorced people. But she's just…" Arizona sighed. "She still wants to be so involved sometimes, you know? But she hates when I say anything about what she's doing or who she's dating."

"That's a little…" Amelia searched for a moment. "Batshit?"

Arizona laughed. "I don't _want_ to call her _crazy_. I don't blame her for the divorce – really it was on me. But I do get frustrated sometimes. She's so protective over who I spend my time with, but I can't be the same with her. And I know that it's about Sofia more than anything – having people constantly in and out of a child's life isn't good for them. But I wish she would trust my judgement at least a little bit."

Amy nodded, thinking. "She doesn't like me around her, then?"

"What? No!" Arizona declared, turning to face Amy. "Amelia you are a world renowned neuro surgeon. You are brilliant, and responsible, and kind. You are the kind of person _I_ want my daughter around."

Amelia met Arizona's eyes, her own starting to prickle as the blonde's words set in. She shook her head lightly.

Arizona spoke again, this time her voice as gentle as could be. "Amy, I don't care what you've done in your past. What matters to me, and what should matter to anyone else, is that you are here, and you are strong." She set her hand on Amelia's, surprised by how warm and soft her skin was.

Amelia blinked back tears, looking from Arizona's hand on hers, to Arizona's eyes on hers. Her heart swelled. "Thank you, Arizona," she said softly, genuinely. Arizona smiled, leaning forward and pressing her lips against Amy's cheek. She backed away too soon.

"Of course. You are always welcome with me."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Praise be to Shonda and ABC.**

 _Chapter 4_

Arizona awoke to her alarm at 6 AM; she had to be at the hospital by nine. She sat up, looking around the living room, her eyes eventually returning to the still-sleeping form of her pillow.

Before getting to know her, Arizona had never imagined Amelia as a particularly peaceful person. She was ambitious. Cut throat. Enthusiastic. But most of all, she'd always seemed at least a touch closed off. The Amelia that Arizona was getting to know, however, was anything but closed off. She was sweet, funny, caring, and absolutely beautiful. Arizona sighed. She knew better than to pursue Amelia; rumor had it that the head neurosurgeon was involved with Dr. Hunt. And besides, she wasn't interested in women, as far as Arizona knew.

She tried to put thoughts of Amelia on the backburner as she began her morning routine; she showered, washing the rest of the flour out of her hair and deep conditioning the powder away. She had two surgeries today, she recalled as she dried her hair and donned her dark blue scrubs. She ran over the cases in her head as she walked down stairs. She made a pot of coffee and a few pieces of toast. She took out a handful of grapes and practiced cutting into them with a paring knife.

"Big day?" she heard from the doorway. Her hand slipped. Her current patient split into two pieces.

Arizona looked up to see messy chocolate hair and a sleepy smirk.

"I hope you aren't that jumpy in the OR," Amelia said as she rounded the counter to pour herself a cup of coffee. Arizona laughed nervously.

"Hopefully not," she agreed. She watched Amelia with interest, studying the way she moved as she walked around the kitchen.

"What do you have today?" Amelia asked, finally sitting down in a bar stool, directly in front of Arizona's operating table.

"Two fetal surgeries. One of the babies has an abrasion on its heart, the other has a tumor growing on its stomach."

Amelia nodded, cocking her head at the blonde, "Do you feel ready?" She asked.

Arizona smiled, immediately answering, "Yes. I just like to be…"

"Over prepared," Amelia finished with a smile. Arizona nodded, finishing off her cup of coffee before she looked at her watch.

"I'd better go," she said, placing her mug in the sink.

"Go get 'em, Dr. Robbins," Amelia said sweetly. Arizona smiled, rounding the counter and planting a kiss on Amelia's cheek. She jumped back, wide eyed. Amy looked at her quizzically.

"I'm sorry, Amelia," she said nervously.

"Sorry for what?" the other woman asked, obviously confused.

"I didn't mean to – I just – it's a habit…"

Amelia laughed, trying to push down all of her nervousness, "Arizona, it's fine, don't be sorry."

"I just – I don't want to – I didn't mean to – if that made you uncomfortable –"

Amy stood up. While Arizona's stammering was endearing, Amelia was overwhelmed. She put her hands lightly on the other woman's shoulders. "It's fine, Arizona. I know you didn't mean anything by it," she said gently. Arizona relaxed.

"I didn't, you're right," she breathed, almost disappointed that Amelia passed off her affection as platonic. "I'm going to go now. I'll see you soon."

Amelia watched as Arizona pushed through the door, feeling her heart drop. She wanted Arizona's kisses to mean something, though she didn't know why.

Arizona scrubbed out, smiling at the OR staff as they left the room. One fetus successful saved, one more to go for the day. Mary and baby Elliot had been model patients. Hopefully Liz and her unnamed little one would follow suit.

She was working overtime to not think about Amelia's dark blue eyes, or her impossibly soft skin, or the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she smiled when Callie cornered her in the hallway and burst her bubble.

"What's going on with you and Dr. Shepherd?" Callie demanded, though she tried to hide her tone beneath her question.

"We took the kids to the zoo yesterday, why?" Arizona asked, avoiding the question.

"Because she was still with you at 11 o'clock last night. With our daughter in the house," Callie responded.

Arizona rolled her eyes, "So I hung out and watched a movie with a friend. What exactly is the problem here?"

Callie huffed, not pleased that she wasn't getting the response she wanted. "There is no problem. I'm just making sure, you know. She's with Owen and I didn't want you getting…"

"Getting what, Calliope?" Arizona sighed, "Getting hurt? Getting involved? Getting over you?"

Callie blanched, staring at Arizona.

"Nothing is going on with Amelia and me, Callie. I promise. We hung out yesterday. She's been going through a rough time, and so have I. So we talked and we realized that we actually get along _really_ well. That doesn't mean that I want to get with her, or that she's going to cheat on Owen. It means that we hang out." Arizona pushed past her ex-wife, exasperated. Why was it that Callie could be involved with other people, but she couldn't?

Callie just watched Arizona leave, immediately overcome with guilt. She shouldn't have said anything.

"How was your sleepover?" Meredith asked as she set breakfast in front of her kids.

"It was fun, actually," Amelia answered from her place at the bar. She was working on her third cup of coffee. "Arizona is really great with the kids," she added.

Meredith nodded, "She really is. Granted she has some experience with work and her own kid, but I wish I had the kind of energy she does with them."

"Yeah, she's pretty incredible," Amelia said quietly. She looked at Meredith to see if she'd heard her, but the other woman didn't react if she had. Amy sipped her coffee.

"Have you talked to Cristina lately?" Amy asked after a moment.

Meredith perked up at the mention of her friend's name, "Yes! She's actually coming to Seattle soon for a visit."

Amelia smiled, knowing how much Meredith had missed Cristina since Derek had died. "That's great," she said. "Maybe you can talk her into taking over cardio again."

She laughed, shaking her head, "I doubt that, but she does want to meet Maggie."

"Oh yeah? The newest twisted sister?" Amelia winked at her, and Meredith laughed again.

"Yeah, I guess so! But I think we're gonna have a party here while she's in town. You should bring Owen, maybe."

Amelia blanched, feeling her cheeks get red. _Owen._ The sound of his name felt off somehow, whereas before it had sounded warm and inviting. She shuddered

Meredith saw Amelia fidgeting, "Are you still with Owen?"

Amelia bit her lip, wondering how to answer that question. "I mean, yes? But…"

Meredith came to stand next to Amelia, forcing her to make eye contact. "Amy…"

She sighed, "Yes, we're still together. But I don't think I want to be," she admitted. "I think I want to be with someone else."

"Arizona?"

Amy sputtered, "H-how? No? I mean… Yes? But how did you?"

Meredith laughed, shaking her head at her sister-in-law's obliviousness. "Amy when I came in last night, Arizona was asleep in your lap. I hardly thought that was 'friendly' behavior. And besides, after one day at the zoo with her you talk about her like she hung the moon."

Amelia sighed, nodding. "I've got it bad, Mer. But I don't know what to do."

"Tell her!" Meredith insisted, "Arizona is sweet, and smart, and you should be with her if you want to be. But I know her, and I know she won't chase you unless she knows there's a realistic possibility that you'll want to be with her." Amelia nodded, thinking. She did want to be with Arizona – she thought. She hadn't been with a woman before, not in an actual relationship. But Arizona was so intoxicating, she couldn't imagine not being with her. That was something she couldn't quite deny herself.

"But you have to talk to Owen first, Amy. You can't say anything to Arizona before you talk to him."

Amelia nodded. "I know," she said quietly. Meredith patted Amelia's shoulder as she walked off, sympathetic to the woman's current dilemma. She knew that this couldn't be easy for her, especially since Owen had helped her so much in recovering from Derek's death. But everyone had to move on, eventually. And maybe for Amelia, moving on meant starting over with someone new.

Meredith left her to think over her coffee when she heard Ellis crying upstairs.

Amy sighed. She knew what she'd have to do.


	5. Chapter 5

**HERE IT IS. I hope you love it. Tell me you love it.**

 **Disclaimer: Praise be to Shonda and ABC. I own nothing.**

 _Chapter 5_

Amelia had been back at work for three days and she had not yet talked to Owen or Arizona – at least, about what she _wanted_ to talk to Arizona about. They'd had lunch together with Karev, Jo, and Pierce the previous day, which didn't allow any privacy.

Today didn't seem like the day either. Amy skipped lunch to stare at the scans that she'd been looking at all day. She had to repair a nerve pathway in a child; she had no feeling in her left arm after she'd been hit in the head with a softball. The problem was that the child's swelling hadn't gone down, and little brains were just so… Fragile.

She didn't want to risk cutting in too far and stunting the girl's development. But she also couldn't wait much longer for her swelling to go down; if she didn't repair the nerve soon, the girl would never have use of that arm again.

Amelia sighed. She needed to get this done in the next two days, or risk failing her patient entirely.

"Knock knock."

Amelia turned to the owner of the most beautiful voice she'd ever heard. "Hey you," she said, smiling. Arizona walked towards her, holding a to-go box and a steaming cup of coffee.

"I didn't see you in the cafeteria, so I thought I'd bring you some lunch." Arizona said, matching Amy's grin.

"Oh, Arizona, you didn't have to."

Continuing to smile, Arizona shook her head, "I wanted to."

Amelia accepted her lunch with a grateful smile. "Thank you," she said, watching as Arizona looked over the scans on the board. Her head was cocked, her beautiful blonde locks falling on one side of her face. Amy watched as her bright eyes ran over every picture of every angle that Amy could possibly look at this brain. A pink lip was caught between her teeth; Amy wanted nothing more than to kiss that lip until she couldn't breathe.

"What are you working on?" Arizona asked, her voice soft and curious. Her eyes never left the scans.

Amy sighed standing up and walking to her colleague's side. "An eleven year old girl. She was hit in the head with a softball and injured the nerve pathways to her left arm; she can't feel a thing. I need to repair the pathways, but her brain is still slightly swollen so it's going to be difficult."

"Where do you usually cut in on a surgery like this?" Arizona asked.

Amelia pointed at a scan, "Here. But the ball hit her," Amelia moved her finger slightly up, "here. That's where the majority of the swelling is happening."

Arizona nodded, looking at the scan, deep in thought. "I wonder…"

Amelia looked at Arizona expectantly. She hadn't expected her to come in and save the day, but she wouldn't protest if she did. "What is it?"

Arizona snapped out of her thought and looked at Amelia. "There's a technique that Dr. Herman taught me for fetal surgery. Essentially we used a long needle and pushed it into the fetus's lungs to drain off fluid. It's very tricky and takes some practice, but you might be able to use the same technique to access her nerve pathways."

Amy's face broke in to a broad smile. "That's _brilliant,_ Arizona! I never would have thought of that! I can run a charge through the needle to repair her pathway electrically! I wouldn't even have to make a cut!" She exclaimed, almost bouncing up and down. She turned to face Arizona; before she'd even thought about what she was doing, she put one hand on Arizona's cheek and the other on the back of her neck and stepped towards her.

"You're brilliant!" She said again before crashing her lips into Arizona's.

At that moment, both of their worlds stopped.

Arizona's blood ran like fire through her veins. Amelia's lips on hers felt even better than she'd imagined. Amelia's impassioned kiss had molded into something more gentle and slow. Arizona relished in her taste, in her smell, flooding her senses. She kissed her back, drinking in the beauty and the power of the woman on the other side of her lips.

Amelia's head was in the clouds. Her skin burned. Her lips felt like they'd been hooked up to electrodes as they moved against Arizona's. She didn't know how she got here, with this beautiful woman in her arms, and she didn't know what had pushed her to do it. She didn't care. She didn't want to be anywhere but pressed against Arizona's body, her fingers winding in Arizona's hair. Nothing had ever felt like this for Amy – nothing so pure and innocent, but so absolutely intoxicating.

"Amelia we need to –"

Amy jumped away from Arizona like she'd been burned. She stared at the door. At Owen. Standing there. Looking at her. Looking at _them._ "Owen." She breathed.

He looked at her again and shook his head, a miniscule movement she easily could have missed.

And then he walked away.

Amelia didn't look at Arizona before she took off after him. She didn't see the look of hurt and confusion cross her crystal blue eyes.

If she had, it might have killed her.

Instead, she focused on catching Owen. She cornered him, pushing him into an on call room.

"Amelia," he said, anger simmering in his voice.

"Owen, I need to explain. What you saw back there…"

"I know what I saw, Amy. Don't try to turn this around."

Amelia sighed, "No, I know. I kissed her, Owen. It wasn't her fault."

"Is that supposed to help?" He growled.

"No!" She matched his tone, and then stopped. She sighed, composing herself. "Owen I should have talked to you before now. But I want to be with Arizona. I've been trying to resist my feelings until we could have this conversation, but obviously that failed. And I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry," She sighed again, leaning back against the door. She felt defeated.

Owen looked at Amelia long and hard, his piercing gaze stinging her to the bone. After a long moment, he sighed and relaxed. "I understand. I wish you'd talked to me before, well, before I'd seen that."

Amelia nodded, watching as he tried to suppress the anger and the pain on his face. It didn't work; his eyebrows were knit together, eyes bloodshot, lips downturned. She had hurt him. "I know," she said quietly. "And I really am sorry."

"Be kind to her, Amy," Owen said suddenly. "She deserves that. She needs that. And I know, as well as you do, that she will be nothing but kind to you."

Amy nodded, stepping away from the door to let Owen leave.

Now she just had to find Arizona.

Finding Arizona turned out not to be an easy task, because she had made a point to hide from Amelia until the end of her shift. She went to the Peds floor and checked on old patients, talked to the nurses, did anything and everything to not think about that kiss. She prowled the ER for patients, scrubbed in on an appendectomy, and spent an hour in the skills lab. Finally, after almost six hours of hiding, it was time for her to go home.

Arizona hung her white coat in her office and retrieved her purse. Before walking out the door she stopped in front of the mirror, and took a few deep breathes. _You're okay, Robbins. You're a soldier. Don't let them bring you down._ She glanced over at the bulletin board that had once held all of the cases that Herman had walked her through. She missed her old mentor greatly. Right now, she could hear her in the back of her mind, telling her to pick herself up by her bootstraps. Don't be such a baby. You're _the_ Dr. Robbins – handpicked for the most innovative surgical specialty in the world by its foremost expert.

She'd have to call Herman soon, maybe bring her some take out and talk to her about everything happening at Grey-Sloan.

Arizona turned to walk out the door.

"Arizona." Amelia Shepherd shut the door behind her, looking at Arizona with tired eyes.

"Dr. Shepherd, this isn't a good time," Arizona said shakily. _Keep it professional, Robbins._

"Don't call me that, Arizona," she said softly, "please. I don't just want to be a doctor to you."

Arizona didn't speak, instead looking anywhere but Amelia's eyes. She couldn't handle them right now, not when she was trying to pull away.

Sighing, Amelia said, "I'm sorry about earlier, Arizona."

The blonde felt her heart drop in to her stomach. She wasn't sorry, even if she should have been.

Amelia saw Arizona's face fall even further, and she understood. "No! Not about the kiss," she took a step towards her, "I'm not sorry for kissing you. Unless you want me to be sorry, which I don't think you do. I'm sorry about Owen, and I'm sorry for running like I did."

Arizona finally looked up and met Amelia's eyes, impossibly blue ones that were begging for her to understand.

"I had to talk to him, Arizona. To explain what I should have explained days ago."

Amelia took a step towards her. Arizona swallowed hard.

"I broke up with him."

Another step forward.

"I want to be with you, Arizona."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello again! I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. FYI I am not a medical professional nor do I know anything about medicine beyond like, basic first aid. SO the procedure outlined last chapter is made up and probably a very bad idea. Don't try it at home, y'know?**

 **Anyways, here we go! Give me reviews - tell me how you feel. I can't wait to hear from you.**

 **Disclaimer: Praise be to Shonda and ABC. I own nothing.**

 _Chapter 6_

 _"I want to be with you Arizona."_

The blonde felt her eyes prickling. Her heart swelled. Suddenly Amelia's presence overwhelmed her yet again. She felt herself getting drunk off the other woman's scent. Her eyes held Arizona in place, weaving their way into her soul and rendering her unable to speak.

 _I want to be with you too._

"Arizona?" Amelia's voice sounded small, childish now. She shuddered as she considered the possibility that Arizona didn't want to be with her, that she had just put herself on the line for nothing.

The other woman sensed this, immediately wanting nothing but to wrap Amelia in her arms and kiss all of her fears away. Instead, she took one step forward. Reaching her hands out to grasp Amy's, she took another one.

Finally, standing squarely in front of this new, scary possibility, Arizona spoke.

"I want to be with you too."

Amelia almost didn't believe what she was hearing. She didn't know why, but she had expected Arizona to walk away, tell her to find someone else. But instead she was here, unbelievably soft, warm hands fitting perfectly in her own. Telling her she wanted to be with her. Arizona Robbins wanted to be with Amelia Shepherd.

"You do?" Her voice still sounded so small, but hope had wriggled its way in.

"I absolutely do, Amelia. I want nothing more than to be with you."

Amelia fell into Arizona's arms, encouraging the woman to wrap her arms around her back and pull her flush against her body. Amy tucked her face into Arizona's hair, inhaling her sweet scent, allowing herself to be overcome. She felt safe here, like she could fall asleep and finally rest her tired eyes. She felt herself dozing when Arizona's gentle voice brushed against her ear.

"Are you on call tonight?" She asked softly.

Amelia nodded and Arizona sighed. "You need to sleep, Amelia."

"I know," she said quietly. She wanted to sleep, but she wanted to sleep wrapped up with Arizona. The thought of her going home after the day they'd had hurt her heart. Even though she knew that eventually, Arizona would have to leave and Amelia would undoubtedly have to stay at Grey-Sloan.

"Come on," Arizona broke into her thoughts as she pulled back. She intertwined her fingers with Amelia's and pulled her towards the door.

"Where are we going?" Amy asked, allowing herself to be lead through the halls. This floor of the hospital was quiet at this time of night, with only a few nurses doing room checks. Arizona expertly avoided any prying eyes as she pulled Amelia into an on call room and locked the door.

Amelia raised her eyebrows at Arizona, surprised by her forwardness.

Arizona caught the brunette's expression and laughed. "Lay down, Amelia. You need to sleep."

"So this isn't...?"

Arizona laughed again, "Did you want it to be?"

Amelia blanched. "I mean, I don't – I just – I'm not – "

Rolling her eyes, Arizona tugged her towards a bed. She set down her purse and pulled back the blankets, letting Amelia slide beneath them before lying down beside her. "This is all I wanted," Arizona said quietly. They both laid on their sides, facing one another. Arizona brushed a rich chocolate lock behind Amelia's ear, smiling as the woman hummed at her touch.

"Get some sleep," Arizona said.

Amy leaned forward, kissing Arizona gently before snuggling into her chest.

"Good night, Arizona," she breathed.

Arizona kissed the top of Amy's head. "Good night, Amelia."

But she was already fast asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Praise be to Shonda and ABC.**

Amelia awoke to the scent of coffee winding its way up the stairs and into Arizona's bedroom. The blonde's side of the bed was empty, but still warm. Amy sighed happily, sinking back into the pillows and closing her eyes.

It had been two months since Arizona had told her that she wanted to be with her, too – and they had been the best two months of Amy's life. The women spent most of their time off of work together; Amy cherished the time she got to spend getting to know Sofia and getting closer to Arizona. Being with them was like being transported to another world, one where she'd never been an addict or lost a baby. Life with Arizona was a fresh start, one that Amelia had so desperately needed.

Knowing that Meredith had to work early in the morning, Amelia took the sun flooding in through the window as a sign that she could go downstairs in nothing but an oversized t-shirt and her underwear.

Meanwhile, Arizona was downstairs, leaning over the counter with a cup of coffee cradled in her hands.

"Arizona, we need to be able to talk about this," Callie insisted. She was standing on the other side of the island, an untouched mug of steaming hot liquid in front of her.

"I'm sure I don't know what you want to talk about, Callie," Arizona said for the second time with a sigh. "I don't have a problem with Sofia being around your girlfriend, so why can't you give me some space?"

Callie's sigh sounded more like a growl as she shook her head, "We can't just have people in and out of her life! What happens when you and Amelia break up? What's she going to think then? She's seen her mothers divorce already. What is she going to grow up thinking about commitment?"

Arizona pushed away from the counter and put her hands on her hips, glaring at her ex-wife defiantly. "I should ask you the same, Calliope. If I remember correctly, _you_ wanted the divorce. And then _you_ introduced our daughter to _your_ new girlfriend, before Amelia began spending any time around her. What about when you break up with your girlfriend? Why is it that my relationship is the one that you pin as destined to fail?"

When Callie just stared wide-eyed at Arizona, the blonde continued, "And you know what, Amelia is Zola's aunt. And Zola happens to be our daughter's _best friend._ So whether you like it or not, Amelia is going to be around her. She is my daughter, just as she is yours. You don't get to tell me how to parent or who to let around her."

Arizona released her glare on Callie, looking up to see Amelia standing by the staircase, listening to the two women argue. She sighed.

"Amelia, you can come in honey," Arizona called. Callie's head snapped around to see her ex's new girl walking timidly into the kitchen.

Amelia felt Callie's eyes on her, but she only focused on Arizona. The blonde was turned around fixing a cup of coffee, which she set in front of Amy as soon as the brunette came to her side. "Good morning," Arizona said sweetly before she turned back to Callie.

Feeling defeated, Callie stood and pushed her chair in. She brought her coffee mug to the sink and set it down before turning to leave. "You're right, and I know that. Just be careful," she directed a pointed look towards Amelia who stood with her back turned to Callie. She noticed that the woman was clad only in an oversized t-shirts – one of Arizona's t-shirts, actually. She tried to ignore the pang of hurt that gripped her heart as she walked to the front door and let herself out.

Amelia and Arizona stood in silence for a moment. Arizona felt the need to explain what had just happened to her girlfriend, but didn't want to hurt her feelings – or her relationship with Callie, for that matter. Eventually, Arizona felt the words, "I'm sorry," fall quietly out of her mouth.

Next she felt Amy's arms wind around her from behind and the brunette's head fall against the back of her shoulder. "You don't need to be sorry," she said. Arizona searched the woman's voice for any trace of hurt, but could find none. She relaxed back into her embraced, take deep breaths.

"I know Callie is worried about Sofia," Arizona began before she turned around in Amelia's arms to face her, "but I wish she could let me live my own life. I don't berate her every time she drops Sof off here to go on a date."

Amelia smirked, seeing that Arizona truly didn't understand. "Arizona, she's _jealous._ "

Arizona scoffed, "Of me? No, I mean, I don't think she's that petty. Unless – I mean, has she made passes at you? Because you're beautiful, of course she –"

"No, Arizona! She's not jealous of _you._ She's jealous of _me._ She doesn't like that I have you and she doesn't."

Arizona scoffed yet again, this time shaking her head, "Amelia that's ridiculous, she started dating months after the divorce was finalized. There is no way she'd be jealous of you."

"Then why does she glare at me every time I walk into the attendings' lounge? She's jealous of me. Maybe she doesn't want to get back together with you, but she sure as hell doesn't want anyone else to be with you," Amelia explained. She watched as Arizona's face went from disbelief to even more stubborn disbelief. The blonde continued to shake her head until Amelia grinned, leaning forward to kiss her. "But you're all mine," she whispered against her lips, "no matter what the ex-wife has to say about it."

Arizona melted into Amy's kiss, letting herself forget about the rest of the world until her phone beeped, reminding her that she had to go to work.

Since the divorce, Arizona had decided that her favorite thing about fetal surgery was that she rarely had to share a case with Callie. Not to be mistaken, she didn't have any problem working with Callie. In fact, she still regarded her as a brilliant doctor and surgeon; but the orthopedic surgeon often undermined Arizona's expertise when they worked together, so not being questioned at every single incision was a nice change of pace.

Today was a particularly awkward day regarding Callie; in light of their argument that morning, the woman kept watching Arizona as she made her rounds. Resolving to ignore it, she made an extreme effort to avoid any floor that Callie might be on if at all possible.

 _I spend a lot of time in this hospital avoiding people,_ she thought, smirking as she recalled the day that Amelia had hunted her down to confess her feelings.

She doubted that, if Callie found her, their meeting would have the same effect.

Dr. Bailey, however, seemed to keep finding Arizona and asking her questions. Questions that she had no interest in answering.

At first, her inquisitions seemed harmless.

"Dr. Robbins, I've been looking for you! Can you look over this chart for me and tell me what you think? The patient is a six year old boy with severely decreased circulation."

After a while, they became more invasive.

"Dr. Robbins, why is it that you aren't staying on one floor for any more than five minutes at a time?"

Soon, they became downright demanding.

"Arizona Robbins, why are you running from your ex-wife?"

Arizona sighed, "Dr. Bailey, I don't think this is really an appropriate conversation…"

Bailey scoffed, grabbing Arizona by the arm and leading her into the office behind the nurses' station. "Arizona Robbins, as you know I am _also_ a divorced woman and I _also_ have a child with my ex and I _also_ have to look at my ex's ugly mug some days, even when I don't want to! I don't know what's going on with you two, but figure it out, because you are a professional, and I don't have time to deal with you two."

"I'm sorry, Bailey," Arizona said with a sigh. She dropped into the arm chair behind her and leaned her head back, groaning.

Miranda looked at her friend, cocking her head. She didn't know if she _wanted_ to know what was going on between the two women, but she knew she should ask.

"What's wrong with you? Did you do the nasty with –"

"Oh God no!" Arizona exclaimed. "Miranda, no. I wouldn't. She's just… If I talk to you about this you can't tell Callie or anyone else. Ever." Her voice was serious, and Dr. Bailey responded with a like nod. Mum was the word. "I've been seeing Amelia Shepherd," she sighed. Miranda didn't seem all that surprised. "For a couple of weeks. Callie found out and came over this morning to tell me she didn't want Sofia around Amelia."

Miranda scoffed, "Oh no, she didn't."

Arizona nodded solemnly, "She did. She made a big stink about having people in and out of Sofia's life and made Amelia the example, saying that _when_ we broke up it would be confusing to her."

"Isn't Callie dating someone too?" Dr. Bailey asked, her voice rising an octave.

"Yes," Arizona said with a nod, "She is. And she regularly has this woman around Sofia. Anyways, I told her she was being unreasonable. But Amelia overheard the whole thing."

Miranda sighed, sitting down in the chair adjacent to Arizona's. "I see," she said and she clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. She stared nowhere in particular for a moment, trying to decide what to say to the other doctor. "Arizona," she finally began, lifting her eyes to meet the blonde's, "what you do and who you date is your business. Callie Torres decided that she wanted a divorce, and in that moment she lost any right to comment about who you choose to spend your time with."

Arizona sighed, "Thank you! That's what I've been trying to get through to her."

Bailey chuckled, but then very seriously added, "But, who you date is _your business_. Which means it has no place in _my hospital_!" The shorter woman stood up resolutely and took off towards the door. She hesitated in the threshold, turning around to look at Arizona once again. "I had a feeling about you and Amelia. I like it. Be good to each other." And with that, Dr. Miranda Bailey disappeared through the door.

Arizona looked at the space where her friend had been a moment before with a small smile on her face. Telling other people about Amelia felt _good._

It felt like moving forward.


	8. Chapter 8

**Dearest Guest Reviewer Emma,**

 **Your wish is my command.**

 **Seriously though guys, this is a big one. Because I don't like writing sex scenes at all, but I did it. Or they did it. Whatever.**

 **Anyway, this is actually a big chapter for a lot of reasons, one being that it's the calm before the storm. Chapter 9, which I will be posting shortly, is heavy and big and is the first in many heavy and big chapters. So enjoy this one y'all. I tried to give you some fluff for the road.**

 **EDIT: For the purposes of this story, Amelia will drink - though it is something she'll have to keep in check. Just so you know, I'm not ignoring her substance abuse story line. Just amending it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. Praise be to Shonda.**

 _Chapter 8_

The door slammed behind them, forgotten as they chased one another up the stairs and into Arizona's bedroom. Amy slid her hand down the blonde's side, dragging the zipper of her tight, strapless blue dress with it. She gripped the top of the fabric, her fingers leaving a trail of fire down Arizona's skin as she pushed the garment down. Arizona followed, pushing the brunette back onto the bed and pulling her dress off of her, followed by her shoes, bra, and underwear.

Arizona stood over Amy, her eyes memorizing every inch of the woman's body before she bent down to begin removing her prosthetic.

She had surprised Amy with tickets to a show and a nice dinner. Without giving any details, she'd called her, ordering her to put on a dress and meet her outside the hospital at 7:30. Amy had obliged happily, almost fainting when she saw how undeniably _sexy_ Arizona looked getting into her car.

They had barely made it through dinner. Amy fingered the hemline of Arizona's dress the whole dinner and after knocking back nearly two entire bottles of wine between the two of them, they stumbled into a cab and wound up back at Meredith's. The ballet be damned, tonight was about them.

Amy wasted no time in ridding Arizona of her bra and panties once the blonde had settled back into the sheets. She swung her leg over her hips, straddling her as she sucked and licked and lips all the way down her body and back up.

When their lips finally met again, it felt like an explosion had rocked their bodies. Amy took the lead, pushing her fingers into Arizona, pumping in and out gently but deep and fierce, until she felt her body tense up and come undone.

After taking a moment to breathe, Arizona turned the tables. She rolled Amy over, pushing three fingers as deep into Amy as she could and working her thumb against the other woman's clit. Amy moaned loudly before biting down into her lip to muffle her own voice. She grinded against Arizona's fingers, her body, anything to generate friction. She shook as her own body gave in to Arizona's coaxing, wrapping her arms and legs around the other woman.

As Amy's body finally relaxed, Arizona scooted up and laid her head on the brunettes shoulder. She brushed a kiss over her jaw, closing her eyes and succumbing to the sweet pull of sleep.

Two months had quickly turned into three and four. Before they knew it, Amelia and Arizona had been together for six months. Both women felt themselves fall into the simple rhythms of life together; most nights Amy slept in Arizona's bed, curled up around the other woman. In the mornings they would drink coffee and eat breakfast and leave for work together. They tried to have lunch in Amy's office every day, surgical schedule permitting. Amy felt herself falling harder and harder for Arizona every day. In fact, both of them felt that their lives together were almost perfect.

Except for one small detail.

"I need my own place," Arizona sighed, throwing herself back on her bed with an exasperated sigh. Amelia giggled, walking to the bed and lying beside her girlfriend. She propped her head up on one arm, leaving the other to trace patterns with her fingers over Arizona's stomach. The blonde turned her head to look at Amy, watching her with loving eyes as she stared off into space.

"Why don't we move in together?" Amy said suddenly. She locked eyes with Arizona to indicate that she was serious.

Arizona didn't respond verbally, instead staring at her girlfriend with wide eyes, mouth half open, unsure of what to say.

Amy's heart dropped. Maybe she had misread Arizona's commitment to her – maybe she wasn't that serious about them. Maybe she wasn't ready to live with another woman. Maybe Amy had allowed herself to fall too quickly, too fully. But she felt ready, more than she ever had. When Owen had wistfully talked about a future and a house and kids, Amy had run every time. But with Arizona, she saw her own future.

Had she just ruined her chances of achieving that?

"We don't have to, I'm sorry. I know that's quick. It was just an idea," Amelia spoke quickly, trying to backtrack away from whatever button she had just pushed. She broke eye contact with Arizona and sat up.

Arizona followed suit, but reached to hold Amy's hand as she did so. "No, Amy, I'm sorry."

Amy started to pull away. She knew it was she had messed up, but the rejection still stung. She felt tears gathering behind her eyes and stood up, turning to leave the room.

But Arizona was quicker; she jumped to her feet and closed the space between them, putting her hands on either side of her girlfriend's face. She stared deep into her eyes, her voice soft and sweet when she spoke, "Amelia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to react that way." Amy felt her body relax a touch, giving in to Arizona's soft skin on hers. Her mind refused to calm, though. "It feels really fast, but I do think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

Amy's jaw fell open as she saw the sincerity in Arizona's eyes. That wasn't what she had expected her to say. She expected her to say they needed to slow down, that this was too far, too fast. She expected her to ask her to leave, that they needed space and time. Or maybe she expected her to end it right then – that, if this was the pace they were going at, she couldn't be a part of it.

She stammered, staring back into clear blue eyes to confirm whether or not Arizona meant it; she did. The blonde met her gaze, leaning in to kiss her, whispering, "I would love to wake up to you every morning."

When their lips parted, Amy chuckled, "You kind of already do."

Arizona just smirked and kissed her again.

They spent the rest of the day lounging on the couch, looking up real estate listings. Arizona was picky, Amelia realized less than an hour into the hunt. Wherever they lived, it had to be close to the hospital, but also close enough to Sofia's school that in case of emergency, Arizona could be there at short notice.

Besides that, Amy was starting to find that Arizona was opposed to the idea of an apartment. They had looked at several units – beautiful, modern, chic apartments with all of the updated bells and whistles, and a list of commodities that made Amelia's eyes bulge. She loved them, but Arizona was less than interested. Eventually, Amy caught on to what Arizona was doing, consciously or not, and she closed the window on her laptop. She turned to face her girlfriend, taking her hands gently in her own.

"Okay, so I think we need to come up with like… A wish list. Like they do on House Hunters," she suggested. "And I think your wish list is going to include 'not an apartment.'"

Arizona smiled sheepishly. "I'm being difficult, aren't I?" she asked, ducking her head.

The brunette laughed, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. "You have standards. High standards. But I don't mind. Honestly, I think I'd really like to get a small house or something," she admitted, still smiling as curious blue eyes watched her. "Granted, anything would be better than my closet of an apartment."

When Arizona just stared at her, Amy rushed to explain, "That is, if you want a small house. Or a house. Or anything. I just thought, you know, since you didn't seem interested in any of these apartments that maybe –"

"Amy," Arizona interrupted sweetly. "Relax."

Taking the laptop from Amelia's lap, Arizona pulled up the local real estate page again and changed their search parameters to 'Houses.' She leaned back into Amelia so that both of them could see as she scrolled through the listings. It didn't take long for them to find one that they both liked – no, loved.

"Three bedrooms, two and a half baths," Amy read off.

"Oh, look at that kitchen!"

Amy giggled, planting a kiss on top of Arizona's head. "And it even has a nice little backyard."

"Maybe we could get a dog," Arizona said. Amy just looked at her, dumbfounded. "What? I'm just saying." Arizona defended unapologetically.

Amelia laughed again. She couldn't wait to start a life with Arizona someday.

"I'm not okay with this," Callie said, following Arizona into the attendings lounge from the hallway.

Arizona sighed, not bothering to turn and face her ex-wife as she said, "You don't have to be. This is my decision."

"Your decision that affects _my_ daughter, Arizona."

"She's _my_ daughter too _!_ Callie, you have _got_ to give this whole thing a rest!" Arizona insisted, her voice rising in irritation.

Callie was quick to match her tone. "You have to talk to me!"

Arizona's sigh sounded like a growl this time as she turned to face the other woman finally. She hadn't meant to let slip that she and Amelia were looking at a house today after work, but her excitement had gotten the best of her. Callie, seemingly unable to let Arizona live her own life as far as the blonde was concerned, had chased her through the halls, demanding her to reconsider. Arizona wasn't having any of it, though. "Calliope, we've had this argument already. I'm an adult, and I'm not obligated to please you anymore."

Callie took a step towards her, eyes trying desperately to hold on to Arizona's to plead with her. "It just seems like you're going into this so quickly, Arizona. Don't you want to slow it down? Do you even love her?"

Arizona froze, her surprise at the question getting the best of her. "Of course I love her, Callie. I love her." She said resolutely, realizing in that moment that it was true; from the very beginning of their relationship Arizona had felt an ease that she'd never experienced with anyone else, maybe even Callie. Their lives molded together perfectly from the get-go. In retrospect, she was surprised with herself that she was just now figuring this out.

Callie, however, was fighting to keep her cool. She had suspected, of course; Arizona looked happy with Amelia - a kind of happy she hadn't seen on the woman since, well, before the divorce. Almost three years ago. Callie collected herself carefully before she spoke.

"Just think about it, Arizona. Think about our daughter."

Callie turned and walked away, leaving Arizona standing alone in the attendings lounge. The blonde didn't mind though, hardly even realizing her ex-wife had left – she was distracted. _I have to tell Amy. I have to tell her. I love her._

Arizona grabbed her coat and headed for the elevators. She needed to get home.


	9. Chapter 9

**I am so sorry.**

 **But hey, tell me what you think. :)**

 **Disclaimer: Praise be to Shonda and ABC. I own nothing.**

 _Chapter 9_

Amy couldn't sit still. She paced back and forth in the waiting room of the ER, trying to piece back together the past few hours. They weren't telling her as much as she wanted to know: they'd taken her for CTs; she could have internal bleeding; something was wrong with her head; maybe it was her lungs. Getting information out of them had been nearly impossible, but they didn't know what was wrong yet, and neither did Amelia.

She couldn't see her.

Was she in surgery? Would they tell her? Would they tell her if things started going south? Or would they forget she was out here? She should go back in the ER. They couldn't technically stop her – she worked there, after all. _Please be okay, please be okay,_ she pleaded to herself as she paced.

 _Amelia heard her pager from the bathroom; she wrapped her wet hair in a towel and pulled her robe tight around her to walk into Arizona's bedroom. Just as she picked up the beeping black box, her cell phone started ringing. Oh God, she groaned to herself._ So much for a day off.

 _She picked up the phone without checking to see who it was._

She felt a hand settle gently on her shoulder. "Amelia," its owner said softly. The voice belonged to Maggie Pierce. She led Amy to a seat. A cup was pushed into her hands; Amy took a sip. Water. To calm her down. Amelia couldn't calm down; she looked Maggie dead in the eye.

"Tell me," Amy demanded. "I need you to tell me what's happening."

Maggie sighed, setting a hand gently on her knee. "They're taking her back to surgery right now. We have two major concerns. First they want to take care of her brain bleed and get that under control. After that, she has several broken ribs, and one of them punctured her lung. There's also still some water in her lungs that we're worried about. Meredith has some other concerns, but they won't know until they get in there, because the water in her body obscured the scans. But if she remains stable, they'll do all they can in this one surgery."

Amelia nodded, standing up "I need to be in there."

"What?" Maggie's voice was incredulous, "Amelia you _can't._ It's a conflict of interest."

"Her brain is bleeding, Dr. Pierce. I'm the woman for the job." Maggie shook her head. "Maggie, please," Amelia began to beg, a new wave of fear washing through her body. "Maggie she can't die, I can't let her die. I have to be in there. She needs me. Please," Amy's eyes welled with tears.

"Absolutely not," the woman said decidedly. "I'm sorry Amelia, but because of your relationship, we can't allow your emotions to get the best of you. We love her too. We'll take good care of her, I promise."

Amy looked at Maggie with pleading eyes as she turned to leave. She needed to be in there. She needed to save her.

"Can I watch?"

Maggie turned and looked at her, sympathy filling her dark eyes. After a moment, she nodded. "In the gallery," she said quietly. "But don't tell them I said you could."

 _"Hello," she said gruffly into the receiver._

 _"Amelia, you need to come to the hospital." It was Meredith, her voice demanding but quiet._

 _"Mer, it's my day off –" she began to protest, but Meredith cut her off._

 _"Amelia, they just brought Arizona in an ambulance. Hurry."_

Amelia sprinted through the halls. She had to get to OR 3. Interns and residents stared, whispered to one another as she passed. She paid them no mind – she was almost there. She turned on more corner, pushing through the door with her shoulder without stopping.

The gallery was full. If an attending wasn't operating on Arizona, they were watching. She noticed Alex Karev, Maggie Pierce, Jackson Avery – Jo was even there beside Alex, as were a handful of other residents and interns that Amelia didn't know. They were all worried about their friend. About her girlfriend. _They all know now,_ she thought fleetingly as she passed. She walked up to the glass, the room going silent behind her as she took stock of the scene below.

There Arizona was, unconscious on a table that she'd worked over so many times. They had her anesthetized already; Edwards stood at her head, with Dr. Garrison, another attending neurosurgeon, supervising beside her. April Kepner and Meredith stood on either side of Arizona's body, waiting for their turn to piece their friend back together. Amelia watched, body stiff and terrified as Edwards made the first cut – _just like I taught her –_ and began to work.

The speakers were off in the gallery; Garrison said something to Edwards and she nodded, continuing to work.

Tears sprung to Amy's eyes; she'd taught Edward's well, but she'd better not mess this up.

The door opened again. Amy heard footsteps, but she didn't look. She was frozen in place, watching.

"Dr. Shepherd! Who let you come in here?" Bailey barked from behind her. Amy didn't respond; she didn't move.

"Amelia, you need to leave," Dr. Webber said more gently. "We'll tell you when we know anything." The two of them stood just behind Amy, but Webber closed the distance and took a step forward, setting a hand on Amelia's shoulder.

Amy reacted swiftly and violently. She tore her body away from him, "No! I need to be down there! I should be performing this surgery!" She spat. "I'm not leaving. I need to – I have to – I just can't –" She started to break down, the tears she'd kept trapped in her eyes spilling out onto her cheeks, but she just turned back to the glass, blinking through her tears. She heard Owen's low voice rumbling behind her; he told Bailey to let her be, she assumed. She wondered momentarily when he had arrived. That didn't matter though, because she wasn't going to leave, no matter what any of them said to her. Bailey scolded the doctors already in the room for allowing her in the gallery to begin with. The other's settled down to watch, leaving Amelia alone at the glass, tears still pouring from her eyes as she watched her friends try to save her favorite part of her life.

 _Amelia sped through the hospital, going in through the pit instead of the visitor entrance. It didn't take her long to find them; Dr. Kepner, Dr. Grey, Dr. Torres, and Dr. Pierce had her in a trauma room with two interns. She looked so pale – almost blue. Her face was covered in blood. Her prosthetic was detached, the metal smashed and deformed. Webber walked in, holding Amelia's body back as she tried to break free, to touch Arizona and feel her skin. To tell her she had to live – she had to be okay._

 _"What happened?" Amelia asked. No one answered._

 _"Tell me what happened!" She demanded, repeating it over and over until Richard dragged her out of the room._

 _"Amelia!" He shouted. She didn't listen. She kept asking and crying, screaming for someone to answer her._

 _"Dr. Shepherd, get ahold of yourself!" He yelled again, his voice low and gruff._

 _"Tell me what happened to her!" She cried back, crumbling in his arms. Richard held her up, gently leading her to the waiting room and sitting her in a chair._

 _He sat next to her, supported her body as it was racked with sobs with an arm around her shoulders. "She was in an accident, Amelia. She was on her way home and a semi hit her car. She rolled off the bridge into the canal. She was in there for probably thirty minutes before they got her out."_


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey team! Sorry this update took so long. To be honest I got kind of stuck because I wanted to add another part in, but I couldn't make it work. So here it is! It's a little short, but I'll try to get the next chapter out in the next couple of days. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing. Praise be to Shonda and ABC.**

 _Chapter 10_

She remained stable throughout the surgery. They stopped the brain bleed, patched up the lung, removed bone fragments, and stabilized her impacted organs. Amelia didn't leave until they were wheeling Arizona out; she found them immediately and followed close behind, standing in the doorway of Arizona's ICU room as the nurses lifted her from the gurney and into her own bed. Her stomach flipped and twisted as she watched them hook her up to every machine in the room; they monitored her pulse and her brainwaves, gave her oxygen through a nasal cannula and pumped saline into her bloodstream from an IV. As soon as the nurses stepped out of the room, declaring Arizona aptly hooked up, Amelia stepped closer, closing her fingers around the woman's wrist.

She had stopped crying sometime after Edward's had closed on Arizona's brain, but her eyes still burned and her body shook for the hours that followed. Now she found herself exhausted, but unable to close her eyes.

"There's so much _more,"_ she whispered to her girlfriend's comatose body. And there was, she realized. There was so much more to be said, to be done. There was more to be lived, and to be lived together.

This couldn't be it.

She spent the next hour whispering things she wished she had already said to Arizona. _"We can live anywhere you want. We can move back to your home town to have kids and farm, for all I care. We can totally get a dog. As long as it's a big dog. I can't do the Chihuahua thing. Your eyes are so beautiful. I don't tell you enough how much I love getting lost in them. I love you, Arizona. I love you. I love you. I love you. Take my whole life, Arizona. I am all yours."_

She was interrupted eventually by the clearing of a throat. She didn't turn her head.

"What happened?" Callie Torres asked hoarsely. She looked from her ex-wife's body, connected to wires and tubes and machines that clicked and beeped at intervals, to the woman whose chin was propped on the edge of the bed, hands wrapped around one of Arizona's. Amelia's face was pale and splotchy, eyes bloodshot and puffy. Her body shook from time to time.

She didn't answer Callie.

"I got a call. It was- it was Bailey. She told me there was a wreck and that Arizona was- Arizona was in surgery and I just… How did this happen?"

It was silent, save for the beeping and whistling of the machines, for a moment.

"I don't know," Amy finally said, her voice thin and hoarse.

"You don't… know?"

"Richard said that she was hit by a semi," she said, her voice cracking. "She got knocked off the bridge. Into the canal."

"Oh my God," Callie whispered. She looked at the woman's body – the paper thin gown, the stitches, the cannula, the IVs – and she felt her head spin. "Where was she? How did…?"

Amy shrugged her shoulders and let out a puff of air that sounded like an ironic laugh. "I don't know. I guess she was coming home."

Callie choked, coughing, "Wait, when?"

Amy shrugged again, "I got the call around nine. I guess probably forty five minutes or an hour before that."

"Oh God," Callie breathed, falling down into the arm chair in the corner of the room. Her brain was processing slower than usual as she started to lay out a timeline. She had argued with Arizona at, what, 7:30? Maybe later? _Oh God oh God oh God, my last conversation with Arizona I was yelling at her._ She remembered their conversation, slowly at first. _"She's my daughter too!" "Do you love her?" "I do love her."_

Callie didn't tell Amelia what Arizona had told her. Instead, she cried into her hands.

She awoke to the beeping of status monitors and the whistling sound of Arizona's breathing through her nasal cannula.

She'd fallen asleep squeezed next to Arizona on the tiny hospital bed. Her arm was slung cautiously over the blonde's front, strategically placed as not to touch any incision sites. Her chin rested on her shoulder, nose mere inches from Arizona's neck; she could smell the sweet scent of her lotion, even through the sterile odor that the hospital permeated.

No one else was in the room, now. Just Amy and Arizona. She looked at her face, peaceful though still swollen around the stitches etched into the skin of her otherwise flawless forehead. She looked as beautiful as ever.

If only she would wake up.

Amy stayed there, observing and memorizing every inch of her girlfriend's jaw, the bridge of her nose, how her lips swelled into a pucker in her sleep, until an unfamiliar voice broke into her thoughts.

"Oh, Arizona."

Amy lifted her head to see the spitting image of Arizona, plus about twenty five years, enter with a formidable man that could be none other than Colonel Daniel Robbins.

Amy nearly fell off the bed as she struggled to sit up; this was not how she imagined meeting her girlfriend's parents. Both Barbara and Daniel Robbins were looking at her, curious and confused.

"Hello, there," Barbara said, trying to meet Amelia with a warm smile.

It turned out more like a grimace.

"H-H-Hello," Amy stammered. She started to step towards the couple but changed her mind, instead stamping her foot down awkwardly. This was going well.

Luckily, the doctor escorting Arizona's parents was there to pick up Amelia's slack.

"Colonel Robbins, Mrs. Robbins, this is Dr. Amelia Shepherd," Owen announced, gesturing towards Amy. "Arizona's…"

"Girlfriend?" The Colonel finished. Amy nodded quickly.

"Yes, girlfriend. Hi," she reached out to shake his hand. His nearly swallowed her own hand, enveloping it in a firm, intimidating grasp.

Shaking hands was not Barbara Robbins's style, however. She opened her arms and hugged Amy tight. "Hello, Amelia. Arizona's told me so much about you."

"She has?" Amelia answered, her voice sounding small. For some reason she didn't feel like the kind of girl that other girls tell their mothers about.

Barbara chuckled warmly, "Oh, yes! She just adores you, honey."

Amy nodded slowly, her lips tugging into a smile, "Yeah. I adore her, as well."

Owen cleared his throat, excusing himself uncomfortably. Amy felt a pang of guilt rush through her chest, but it was soon replaced with the terror of meeting Arizona's parents, yet again.

"I'm sorry that we, uh, that we had to meet like this," she said quietly.

Colonel Robbins nodded, "Yes, well, it's certainly not ideal. But thank you for being here for her. I know she appreciates you."

Amelia accepted his gratitude with a nod, falling back into the chair by Arizona's bedside. The Colonel and Mrs. Robbins made themselves comfortable, quietly talking amongst themselves. Amelia tried to listen for a moment, but found herself drifting back into her own thoughts. _How could this have happened?_ She was so overwhelmed that she couldn't think straight. She felt sick. She felt angry. She felt so very sad.

"Amelia, dear?" Barbara Robbins's sweet southern drawl broke into her thoughts. The brunette looked up at the woman, a faltering smile on her lips. "Why don't you go get something to eat? We'll have them page you if she wakes up while you're gone."

Amelia nodded, rising slowly from her seat. "Thank you," she mumbled quietly as she walked out of Arizona's room.

She looked back at her girlfriend one more time before turning and heading towards the elevators.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey y'all! So sorry this is so late. And it's gonna be short BUT A LOT HAPPENS kind of conversationally, ya know? Anyways, my last paper for a little bit is due tomorrow night so I SHOULD be able to pump out a new chapter in the next few days which will make up for my terribleness, right? Right.**

 **So, read, enjoy, tell me what you think, and keep on chuggin' y'all.**

 **Disclaimer: I own 0 things. Praise be to Shonda and ABC.**

Sofia pulled out of Mami's arms as soon as she walked into the room and saw Mama sleeping in the hospital bed. She didn't look sick, but Sofia knew that she was; healthy people don't sleep at the hospital without blue clothes on. She walked past her Grammy and Papa and climbed into Amy's lap, using the boost to hold on to Mama's hand. Amy scooted forward in her seat and wrapped an arm around Sofia, securing her on her lap.

"Hey, Sof," she said softly.

"Is Mama going to die?" Sofia asked, her bluntness leaving the air in the room still and tense.

Papa made a funny noise, opening his mouth to say something – but Sofia beat him to it.

"My daddy died. Is Mama going to go the same place as Daddy?"

No one wanted to answer. Amy sighed, pressing a soft kiss in to the Sofia's hair.

"No, baby. Your mama isn't going to die," she finally said, her voice sounding dry and far away.

Sofia heard Mami walking closer to her, "Sof, why don't I get you your own chair?" The little girl shook her head vigorously settling deeper into Amy's lap and squeezing Mama's hand.

"She's fine, Callie," Amy said. Her voice sounded sad – was she worried about Mama too?

Sofia thought about it for a moment. Amy and Mama were _always_ together when they weren't being doctors. They made dinner together and watched movies together and even played with her together. In fact, Amy and Mama were together more than Mama and Mami had ever been together – even when Sofia was a baby.

"Amy?" She asked.

"Yeah baby?"

"Do you love Mama?"

"Yes, I do love your Mama," she answered, her voice shaking almost imperceptibly. The question threw Amelia off guard; she was in a room with Arizona's parents, daughter, and ex-wife – this could easily turn sour. But she did love Arizona, undoubtedly. Sofia should know that. She should know that someone loves her mom more than anything.

She felt tears welling up in her eyes and tried to choke them down. She didn't want the girl to see her cry. Sofia needed as much support and strength as she could get, and Amy couldn't stand the idea of the girl comforting her instead.

She lifted her off her lap and set her next to Arizona on the bed, helping her to snuggle in to her mother's side. Sofia nuzzled her face against the woman's neck and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep in no time.

Amelia stood up once she was sure the girl was asleep and excused herself, avoiding Callie's piercing gaze as she left the room.

"It's nice to see you, Callie," Barbara said quietly once Amy had gone. She looked her daughter's ex-wife over; she looked well, but tired and maybe a little stressed. Arizona had told her that Callie was seeing someone new, and that Callie was unhappy with her for seeing Amy.

Barbara could see the distrust and jealousy in the woman's eyes when she looked at Arizona's new girlfriend.

"You too," Callie said hoarsely, "I know it's been a long time." She knew that Barbara was watching her – had always been watching her – closely. From the day she had first met the Robbins family, she had felt Barbara's eyes on her – not intrusively or coldly, but curiously. She cared deeply for Callie because Arizona did, and even now that Callie had walked away, she knew Barbara would always be watching her with those kind, concerned eyes.

"How have you been?"

Daniel watched as the younger woman squirmed with discomfort. He couldn't help but wonder what his wife was doing; he knew she'd lost many a night of sleep over her daughter's divorce, but she seemed happy with Amelia – and Barbara knew that. He silently prayed for her to stop meddling.

Callie stammered, "I-I'm good, you know. Just… Working a lot, I guess."

Barbara nodded. "Arizona says you're seeing someone."

 _Oh Christ, Barb,_ Daniel thought as Callie nearly choked on her own breath.

"Y-yeah, I have been. It's fairly recent, I mean. Nothing serious or –"

"I think that's good," Barbara interrupted, smiling. "Your love for Arizona ran its course. You both need to move forward."

Daniel felt himself relax, and Callie found herself surprised at the genuineness of her former in-law's tone. "Yeah," she said slowly, "She's seeing Amelia now, you know."

Daniel chuckled, "Clearly. The poor girl has barely slept in three days."

"Yes, Amelia makes her very happy, I think," Barbara said, diverting her eyes from Callie. "She makes her as happy as she used to be, it seems."

Barbara's words sunk into Callie's heart slowly, burning and twisting on the way down. While Mrs. Robbins was undoubtedly right, she didn't want to think of Arizona being as happy as she used to be with anyone else. She didn't want her to love Amelia. She didn't want her to move on.

But she was. They both were, and that was the only way they could continue to live.

"Yeah, she does."

"A-Amelia? Amelia?"


	12. Chapter 12

**I rewrote this chapter probably four times before I was happy with it, and that's why it took so long. I hope you all like it. Let me know how you feel!**

 **Disclaimer: I own zero things besides the undying love for Shonda that I practice on a daily basis.**

"A-Amelia? Amelia?"

Arizona felt the word leave her lips before she had even thought it. Her voice, she noted, sounded thin and hoarse. But the name felt like honey down her throat. She wanted to say it again.

"Amelia."

 _It's dark,_ she thought. _Am I asleep? Is this a dream?_ She thought for a moment, but the dull ache in her bones told her that it wasn't.

Her eyes were just closed.

She heard noise around her; it was senseless, white noise. Buzzing and beeping. The noise came from familiar tones, voices that she knew and machines that she recognized – but she couldn't pull the syllables apart. Whatever they were saying, they were saying quickly and loudly.

She heard, rather than felt, someone next to her. Their cold skin felt sticky and strange against her own when they touched her. Slowly she felt sounds melting away into single words.

"Awake," she heard.

"Page."

And then she heard the one that felt good, "Amelia."

It took her a moment to remember what that word meant, but when an image appeared against her eyelids, one of a beautiful woman with dark hair and ocean blue eyes reaching down to pick up a child while she laughed, she knew. She remembered.

Her eyelids didn't obey her at first. She wanted to open them, to see that woman and to tell her what she needed to tell her. But they stayed closed, no matter how she tugged at them in her mind. Sounds turned into voices, panicked and happy ones.

She heard her daughter giggling just beside her.

"Have you paged Shepherd yet?" She heard a friend's voice demand from somewhere near her feet. Meredith Grey, she thought. Dr. Grey. She imagined she was shouting at an intern.

The recipient of Grey's lashing mumbled a response – an affirmation. Soon she heard another voice.

"Dr. Bailey, is she waking up?"

That one was familiar, too. It was deep and strong. It was her father.

 _Why is Dad here?_ She asked. _Where am I, anyways?_ Arizona couldn't remember. She couldn't remember falling asleep, or laying down. All she could remember was driving, thinking that she loved Amelia so much, thinking that she had to tell her.

Miranda's voice sounded, this time. "It looks like it," the woman hummed for a moment, "her brain waves are looking good. She's waking up."

Arizona started to wonder what she was waking up from when suddenly, light broke into her dark world. Suddenly she wished it hadn't; everything was white and ghastly. Pain radiated through her body, resonating most deeply along the sides of her head.

"Mommy!" She heard her daughter's voice cry gleefully. She blinked repeatedly, waiting for her eyes to adjust as she turned towards the voice.

"Sof, back up honey," she heard another voice say. It was familiar. It didn't affect her as her daughter came into focus.

"Hey baby," she whispered, smiling at the tiny face beside her. Speech felt sloppy on her lips – thick and sticky.

"Mommy, I'm so happy you're awake! You slept forever!" The child exclaimed. She was beaming. Arizona responded in kind.

"Did I?" She said. She heard a new noise, this one more sudden. It sounded like squeaking – like shoes on the basketball ball court her brother had played on when she was a child. She turned her head, allowing her eyes to sleepily process the room as she searched for the noise. She saw Miranda Bailey, Meredith, her mother and father, Callie…

And Amelia.

Her eyes took in the sight of the disheveled woman, standing in the door. Her mouth was gaping, eyes wide and in shock. She saw tears dripping down the woman's cheeks.

"Amelia," she said again, this time to the person she'd wanted to say it to from the beginning.

Amelia followed her voice, stepping past Dr. Bailey and Sofia, not breaking eye contact until she stopped just above Arizona's head.

"Hi," she said. Her voice was hoarse and sad, but it sounded like sugar and home. Arizona felt the pain drain from her head at the single syllable.

She knew then – she had to say it.

"I love you."

She watched as the words changed Amelia's face. The tears grew larger, more frequent, but her lips and eyes grew happier. Amelia's shoulders relaxed and she set her warm, gentle hand against Arizona's cold cheek.

"I love you too," she answered. Arizona beamed back.

Amelia didn't break eye contact as Arizona felt the room thin out. Sofia was no longer in her periphery and she could no longer hear her father's breathing, labored with age. There was only Amelia, dark blue eyes capturing her crystalline ones. Amelia's were bloodshot, with dark circles underlining them down to the middle of her cheeks. There were new lines on the brunette's face, ones that Arizona didn't remember seeing before. She wondered for a moment before she found the words to ask.

"Amelia, why am I in a hospital bed?"

Her face fell further, but she tried on a weak smile as she climbed into the bed next to Arizona. She took a moment to snuggle up next to her, a position that felt vaguely familiar to the blonde.

Once Amelia was settled, she answered.

"You were in an accident, Arizona."

"An accident? Like, what kind of accident?" She asked, reaching in her mind for a memory; she couldn't recall an accident. Only driving across the bridge and then darkness.

"A semi hit you, honey. It hit you and knocked you off of the bridge," Amelia's voice was somber, traces of sadness weaving their way through her words.

"Oh."

When Amelia spoke next, Arizona could hear the tears choking her. "You had to have surgery. They didn't know – you'd been under water for a long time and – and they didn't know if you would…"

"If I would make it," she finished as Amelia succumbed to sobs that racked her body. Arizona held Amelia tighter against her body as she stared at the ceiling, trying to allow the reality of the situation to sink in.

She had almost died.

Her parents were there. Because she had almost died.

Callie was there. Because she had almost died.

Amelia had spent god-knows how long crying. Because she had almost died.

And here she was, crying for probably the thousandth time in – how many days had it been? She didn't know. It could have been one day, but it could have been weeks yet. She would never know, she imagined, the tears that had been cried or the time spent or even the units of blood transferred. She had been asleep through it all; guilt overwhelmed her senses.

Arizona mustered up all of the strength her aching body had and pulled the brunette even closer, crushing her against her side. She hoped that Amelia could feel the love pouring through her, could understand how sorry she was for everything that had happened. Slowly, Amelia's cries began to taper off. Her tears slowed and her body settled as she drifted into unconsciousness tucked into Arizona's body.

As her girlfriend slept, Arizona stared at the ceiling and wondered what would happen when Dr. Bailey came back in the room. She wondered if she'd get to go home soon.


	13. Chapter 13

Arizona was broken out of her thoughts by the low sound of Dr. Bailey clearing her throat in the doorway. She brought her eyes down to meet her colleague's dark brown ones, smiling softly as the woman looked at the two women skeptically.

"Hey, Bailey," she called gently.

Bailey approached slowly, clucking her tongue against the top of her mouth as she reviewed Arizona's chart. "I didn't like you, Dr. Robbins."

"What?" She asked, dumbfounded.

"When I first met you, I didn't like you. You were so… _happy._ You had roller skates and stuffed animals and I just didn't like it at all," Bailey ignored the pout spreading across Arizona's face and continued. "And then you were so _good._ You were a damn good pediatric surgeon, Dr. Robbins. You loved those kids and you took good care of them."

"And then you started dating Torres. Now I don't like talking about anybody's personal life, but I never heard the end of her yapping about how sweet you were and how kind you were and how good you were at cooking, blah blah blah. But it was cute. And then you got married and divorced and now, now you're here with her. With Amelia Shepherd."

Arizona frowned again, not sure she was liking where this was going. But she allowed Miranda to continue, still.

"Arizona Robbins, I have watched your life happen and have seen you on a table more times than I want to see _anybody_ on a table. You have lived and survived through shootings and plane crashes, through amputations and car crashes and somehow, you are not brain dead or diseased or anything," Bailey set her binder of charts down and looked at Arizona as she finished, "You're a damn lucky woman, Arizona. You're healthy, you've had two women love you more than life itself, and you have a hell of a lot more to look forward to."

As Bailey turned to check the machines measuring Arizona's blood pressure and heart rate, the blonde smiled and closed her eyes.

"Thank you, Miranda. I feel like one hell of a lucky woman."

She heard Bailey chuckle as she scribbled down some numbers. "Anytime, Dr. Robbins. You're staying the night tonight, but I think we should be able to get you out of here tomorrow morning."

"Alright," Arizona sighed happily. "Bailey, how long was I asleep for?"

Miranda hummed as she thought, counting back in her mind, "Two weeks," she finally declared, adding as she motioned to Amelia, "she's been here the whole time."

As Miranda left, Arizona's heart swelled so much that it hurt.

Amelia watched carefully while Dr. Bailey had Arizona walk from her bed, to the door, and back several times. Although she'd been up and around all morning, Arizona humored her, allowing her to adjust her prosthetic to detract from her limp as much as she could and answering question after question about pain and discomfort.

After twenty minutes of physical assessment and interrogation, Miranda held discharge papers out for Arizona to sign, turning to Amelia as she did so.

"She's healthy. Try to keep her that way. No car wrecks, no alcohol for at least a week, and I expect to see her back here next Thursday for a follow up appointment. We will discuss the possibility of her returning to work at that time, we clear?"

"Ma'am, yes ma'am," Amelia confirmed with a smile and a nod. She gathered what remained of Arizona's things, piling them into the tote that contained Amelia's extra clothes and tooth brush, and slung it over her shoulder.

Colonel and Mrs. Robbins were planning on coming over to the house later that day before their departure, having taken Sophia out for a day of toy shopping and ice cream to allow Arizona to readjust. Amelia was grateful for their generosity, especially since it gave the two women a little bit of alone time before juggling the tornado that was Arizona's daughter.

Finally, Arizona's discharge papers were all signed and her follow-up appointment booked. She slipped her hand into Amelia's, tugging her towards the elevators as she kissed her cheek.

"You're a free woman!" Amelia declared as the elevator doors slid shut.

Arizona giggled, "It looks like I am. I have to admit, my most recent bout with mortality has given me a new appreciation for life."

"Oh yeah?" Amelia asked, curious. "Well what should we do to celebrate?"

"Let's go rob a bank."

"Whoa now, I don't think you're that hardcore just yet."

She scoffed this time, "Oh Dr. Shepherd, I got my leg chopped off and lived to tell the tale. Not to mention I survived underwater for a prolonged period of time and didn't go braindead. I'm pretty damn hardcore."

Amelia rolled her eyes, stepping closer to her girlfriend protectively. "You're an idiot."

"I'm your idiot," Arizona said sweetly, winking and offering a quick kiss to Amelia's cheek.

This time she just hummed lightly in response, allowing the rest of the elevator ride to pass in comfortable silence.

She was overcome with worry about Arizona. Sure, maybe she was just the type of person to get over incidents like car accidents and near drownings quickly. But what if the blonde was using humor as a mask – a way to deflect from whatever she was really feeling? Nearly dying was a harrowing experience for anyone, and she would imagine especially for someone who seemed to feel things as deeply as Arizona did.

She was gnawing on her lip when the elevator doors opened and Arizona tugged her out and into the lobby. She must have read Amelia's mind, because as soon as they were outside the hospital the blonde came to a stop and turned to her girlfriend, taking both of her hands and locking eyes.

"I'm sorry, Amelia," she said gently.

The brunette's brow furrowed as she shook her head, "you have nothing to apologize for."

Arizona smiled sadly, giving her hands a soft squeeze. "I do. I know how I must sound when I say stuff like that – like I'm belittling the situation. I know it's a big deal, and I do have a lot of feelings – a lot of fear, anger, what-have-you. It's not a joke and I shouldn't make it one. I just," she sighed, shaking her head. "I lost my marriage because I allowed myself to drown in that before. I let all of my negativity, anger because I didn't want to lose a leg, fear because I wanted to be so many things for Sophia and for Callie but I felt that I couldn't. It ate me up, and ended my marriage."

"Arizona, you don't have to explain yourself to me," Amelia said quietly, stepping closer to her girlfriend.

"But I do," she half-smiled back. "You deserve to understand. You were here with me this whole time, and I know that you're hurting and you're scared, so you need to know that I understand how lucky I am to be alive, and how lucky I am to have you. I just want you to know that, no matter what, I don't want to become the person that I was after the plane crash again. I want to be happy and positive, and I guess for me that includes making off-color jokes about my own pain sometimes."

Tears welled up in Amelia's eyes, but she held them in, instead leaning in and kissing Arizona hard. She held the other woman's face in her hands, eventually pulling back and leaning her forehead against hers to look into her eyes.

"You scared the hell out of me," she said flatly. Arizona's face dropped as guilt overtook her features, but Amelia shook her head to try to brush it away. "I love you so much, and I'm not going anywhere. Even if you make morbid jokes sometimes."

Arizona smiled as Amelia kissed her again, sending all of that fear and anxiety to some dark corner in her mind for the time being.


End file.
